The Silence Is Too Loud
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The Silence Is Too Loud

This year I read a few books, or say started reading a few. 🙂

I always wanted to read the Game of Thrones novel and experience the fantasy world. Thought it must be fun. I must say, I tried and I failed. It was difficult for me. It’s hard to concentrate on words, sentences, paragraphs. Chapters with bunch of paragraphs. Usually a whole bunch of chapters, before you can say finished, and get to the next. The next book. The next thing. The next possibility. Next next next. Like every other lazy lad I decided to start watching the TV series instead.

But wait… I said I read a few books. What about the others?

If I am not able to concentrate long enough to listen to my favourite song all the way through, how can you expect me to finish reading a book?

Smokers who are the most optimistic about their ability to resist temptation are the most likely to relapse four months later, and overoptimistic dieters are the least likely to lose weight. (Kelly McGonigal: The Willpower Instinct)

 

Likewise, I had a glimpse of all those books, but couldn’t finish any of those. But I still learned a lot from whatever I read. I’m going to try and share a few of those today.

Let’s start with one of the most liked POTUS Abraham Lincoln.

Something that has always intrigued me about Abraham Lincoln is, not surprisingly, his sense of humour. As far as I can tell, he’s the first American President to have one. He was once accused of being two faced. His reply?

“Honestly, if I were two-faced, would I be showing you this one?”

There has been a lot of influence of women in my life. I have been following Najwa Zebian for a while now. Here’s the lines I liked the most from Najwa Zebian. Her words are depiction of what a heart goes through in silence.

Here’s the thing about people with good hearts. They give you excuses when you don’t explain yourself. They accept apologies you don’t give. They see the best in you when you don’t need them to. At your worst, they lift you up, even if it means putting their priorities aside. The word “busy” does not exist in their dictionary. They make time, even when you don’t. And you wonder why they’re the most sensitive people. You wonder why they’re the most caring people. You wonder why they are willing to give so much of themselves with no expectation in return. You wonder why their existence is not so essential to your well-being. It’s because they don’t make you work hard for the attention they give you. They accept the love they think they’ve earned and you accepted the love you think you’re entitled to.

Let me tell you something. Fear the day when a good heart gives up on you. Our skies don’t become grey out of nowhere. Our sunshine does not allow the darkness to take over for no reason. A heart does not turn cold unless it’s been treated with coldness for a while.

 

Sorting my Life

Recently I tried focusing on sorting my life. It was like untangling my earphones. Quickly and unsuccessfully. I have always been a man without a plan but with a jugaad. It’s OK not to have things planned in Life. No? I mean anticipation is boring. If you do millions of good things to people, they don’t remember it. But when you do one mistake, they remember it for the rest of their lives. When you care about someone you should hide it and not talk to them again. Misinterpretation of your silence is the best way to fool someone.

 

Some say that the key to failure is trying to please everyone. But what if your honest intentions of keeping everyone happy is mistaken as trying to please everyone. I know that my kindness hurts me but I’ll continue to choose it, not because I’m naive, but because my actions define me. I don’t expect people to trust me outright, but I can’t give the proof of my honest intentions. I’ll keep being honest. I’ll not tell what you want to hear. I will tell the truth. It may hurt, but it definitely won’t hurt more than the feeling that I was told something out of pity, not out of honesty.

 

So the question is how I can get over “I’m a Reader, not a Writer” myth? I have many insecurities. I do not necessarily believe that I’m a poor writer; however, I cannot say with full confidence that I truly know what I am writing. Yes, I am confused and indecisive. Generally speaking, I enjoy writing. It is both a challenge and learning experience. It is a way to express myself truly, and I believe that it may be the only way to clearly convey my ideals and thoughts in a short, powerful way.

Former genius, currently confused. Speaks fluent sarcasm. An Ambivert who is smart and dumb at the same time. Always confused between two extremes. Not your average foodie, my blood is made of chocolates and ice-creams.

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